Becoming Discipline

Kerrie Jones • December 12, 2024

We all have had the experience of wanting to achieve something that we couldn’t quite attain. In fact, many of us are likely pursuing something at this very moment that seems to constantly elude us, and for some of us we don’t understand why we can’t get there. There are a number of possibilities to address the “why?”, however the most obvious answer is, we lack discipline. What’s even more frustrating is when our challenges with discipline are confined to only a few areas in our lives. For example, you may wonder, “how is it that I’m able to do well with achieving my career goals, but I struggle with saving?”. When these questions arise, most of us can easily identify a lack of discipline as the issue; but what exactly is discipline, and how do we get more of it?


Discipline is widely understood to be the quality of maintaining control to achieve a desired outcome, which is at times is easier said than done for most all of us. What’s little understood about discipline is the role of emotions, and the importance of being intimately acquainted with them to get what we really want out of life. Today, most people know very little about emotions; in fact, many of us run from them or dismiss them as something that’s only for women. The truth is that we’re all emotional, and if we fail to understand that, we’re limiting the degree to which we can live fulfilling and enjoyable lives.


We all experience emotions. We get sad, mad, happy, excited, and afraid, even if we don’t express ourselves outwardly. When we fail to recognize our emotions and the behaviors that typically accompany them, we can be driven in all sorts of directions without any regard for wisdom or logic. For example, when someone is happy, they can spend money buying drinks for everyone without having the means to do so, and when they return to their logical state, they may experience regret because they just spent their rent. It’s interesting how within one body two opposing intentions can exist, and one will always win. This is the power of our emotions, and left unattended or ignored, they can destroy everything that we work hard for.


So, what can you do? Know your emotions, attend to your emotions, wait out your emotions, and use emotions to inform wise decisions. The word emotion is synonymous with ‘feeling’. This is because we literally feel our emotions in our body. Often, we talk about “feeling” things, and most of the time we’re talking about beliefs that we think, not what we feel. Some of our feelings are unique, but by and large we feel similarly. For example, when we’re afraid, most of us feel our heart pounding or our stomach dropping, or both. When we’re sad, we feel the tears welling up for a cry. These are feelings. Many of us have developed a habit of suppressing our feelings, thereby suppressing our emotions, and when we do this, both grow to become uncontrollable and our actions follow suit. Suppressed emotions stay in the body and typically result in emotional and physical distress that results in mental health issues and medical disease. When we allow ourselves to feel, it relieves the pressure and makes room for the next emotional experience.


When we attend to emotions, we give attention to ourselves; it can look like showing curiosity about the source of the emotion; so in fear, we may ask ourselves, “what am I actually afraid of?”. This line of inquiry can often resolve the emotion if we come to realize we have nothing to fear. On the other hand, it can provide us with information about the environment around us, and when we take the next step of waiting out our emotions, we can then make wise decisions without regret. Feelings pass. When we give space to our emotions they may wash over us like a wave, and then they’re gone. There are times when we may need to act while in our emotions, like when there’s eminent danger, and in these cases, managing our emotions can be the difference between a stampede that hurts people or moving quickly and orderly, keeping everyone as safe as possible. The key to waiting out emotions is not to speak or act while the emotional experience is present. This keeps us from engaging in behaviors like impulse buying, going off on others, or even excessive drinking, smoking, or drug use. Once the emotion has passed and we return to logic we can use emotions to make informed decisions in the moment for our future.


In essence, discipline is about bridging the gap between logic and emotion. Without emotion, we are likely to make decisions that seem good for us, but possibly bring no enjoyment. In the heat of emotion, decisions only feel good, and usually only in the moment the emotion is present. Wisdom can be found in our emotions, we were given them for a reason, use yours for your benefit.

The One Thing Standing Between You & Success

By Kerrie Hudson • February 8, 2026
The new year typically comes with a desire to be successful in an area where winning has been challenging. As such, we spend time thinking about what we want for the year ahead and commit to doing things that will help us achieve our goals. The challenge many of us run into is that we quit on our goals before we can clear the first few months of the year; so, while January is still with us, I want to share with you some information about what I believe to be the number killer of success, anxiety, and how to overcome it so you can have a greater chance at winning this year. Regardless of your goals, anxiety has a way of stepping in and stealing your motivation before you can gain much momentum. It’s the quiet voice lurking in the background telling you that you can’t have what you really want because it’s too hard, or you’re not good enough, or if you do attain it, something terrible will come along and take it away. Essentially, anxiety is at the heart of why you settle; you’ve listened to that little fearful voice that’s informed only by your limited experience and/or imagination, and convinced yourself you can’t have the thing you deeply desire; so your only option is to go without the tightened body, or the love you deserve, or the business that would positively impact the lives of others, which ultimately leaves you dissatisfied and even regretful. You’ve given up on your goals and dreams because of something that might happen, but probably won’t. If you’re going to disrupt this cycle the key is to challenge your ego. Many people believe the issue with the ego is cockiness and arrogance that leads one to see themselves as above others, and while that’s true, what most people fail to understand is the arrogance in perceiving fear as fact versus seeing it as just one of many possibilities. When you see your fears as fact you treat them as certainty and you make decisions that align with them, ultimately shortchanging yourself of the life you deserve. In reality, the ego can work for or against you, and combined with anxiety, an unhealthy ego will kill your ability to enjoy your life and achieve your goals. So, if you you’re going to succeed in anything and have a good time doing it, you must check your ego and anxiety so they don’t keep you in a constant state of settling in fear. If left unchecked, the ego will convince you not to invest too much or not to try too hard because “this probably won’t even work”, or “nothing good ever happens for me”. It will see losses as catastrophic events and overinflate the importance of a few outside opinions. Its goal is to keep you safe, when in reality, the things that pose a threat to you are likely not threatening at all. The key is balancing the ego by removing certainty from your beliefs, because anything that hasn’t yet happened isn’t certain, it’s a possibility. When you begin to see your fears as possibilities you can move from a place of guardedness to a place of curiosity; this helps you to open yourself to more possibilities than the one rooted in your fears, and when you see more possibilities, you can free yourself to take risks (which is necessary to succeed). With this shift, you can begin to see losses as lessons so you can use your setbacks as a setup to do better, to refine your approach, to put the proper supports in place; and as your gain more experience, you’ll begin to see realistic likelihoods of what can happen over possibilities and certainties, reducing the size of your fears. You begin to think “if I take these steps, it is possible that I won’t achieve my goal, but it is likely that I’ll be closer to it than if I settle here”, and when you take on this perspective beautiful things happen.

What's The Deal With Boundaries

By Kerrie Hudson • December 21, 2025
Most of us are trying to improve our lives, and as such, we can cling to ideas and concepts that we believe will help us to get there. A lot of times these ideas and concepts lose their true meaning and become a crutch that we lean on to resist change, instead of a skill we develop to become a better us. Boundaries is one of those concepts that’s often used, rarely understood, and often weaponized in ways that keeps us stuck in the same old patterns; that changes for you today. Simply put, boundaries are our deeply held, internal ‘no’, and when our boundaries have been violated, you feel it. Think about the feeling you get in your body when you’ve waited for a parking space, and someone steals it, or when you’ve loaned someone money that they fail to repay; these are boundary violations. Boundaries are the line we’re not willing to cross in our interactions with others, and that line is your responsibility to maintain. For example, you may have a boundary that dictates you don’t loan money; but, if someone asks you to borrow money and you give them the loan, you have violated your own boundary, and that feeling is far worse than violations from the outside. When you don’t know and/or do not articulate your boundaries you are hurting yourself, and that type of behavior sets you on a course for a world of pain. When you fail to take responsibility for your boundaries it becomes difficult to trust and depend on yourself; and if you can’t trust and depend on you, who can you really trust? Bottom line, boundaries are ingrained into the fabric of our person, they don’t go away; and boundary-setting and protection are necessary skills to develop in order to become a confident and self-assured human who is fulfilled in life. If you struggle with identifying and honoring your boundaries, Becoming Her Again is the gamechanger you need to step into the woman who no longer shrinks or settles for less than she deserves. The course is coming soon, join the waitlist to be the first to access this powerful resource. (P.S., it comes with 2 bonuses: The Boundary Starter Pack & Scripts for Difficult Conversations)
Dirt path winding through green, grassy mountains under a partly cloudy sky.

Why Heal?

By Kerrie Hudson • October 8, 2025
Why Heal? Healing has become a buzzword in the company of words like self-care, peace, and mental health. They’re certainly a bit overused, but are nonetheless vital components of the life we all want to live. So, what is healing? Healing is wholeness. What makes us “unwhole”? Trauma. Many of us don’t believe that we’ve experienced trauma, and that’s understandable because this type of trauma is so common it doesn’t seem very traumatic. But here we’re talking about what we call “little t” trauma. Some examples are the separation or divorce of parents, emotional neglect (no one to talk to/childhood loneliness), or a parent suffering with mental health challenges (anxiety and depression are most common). When children have experiences like these, they often have parents or caregivers who are unavailable or incapable of providing for their needs, and instead of the parent taking responsibility, the kid blames themselves – that’s the trauma. When you are at fault of anything, you naturally correct or fix yourself; so, when you blame yourself for something you weren’t responsible for you overcorrect and rid yourself of attributes and qualities you actually need. There’s no way of knowing this process is taking place in childhood, the damage is done. The good news, however, is it’s reversible, and reversing the damage is called healing. There’s also no way to instinctively know what we need to heal until we begin living; life tells us where we need to heal. The easiest way to identify areas where healing is needed is when we want something, especially basic life necessities like love, and we can’t seem to achieve it, we do the same thing we did as kids, we fix ourselves. And when the fixing doesn’t work, we either settle, or we give up. We settle, because we believe the lie that this is the best we can get, and we’d rather have this than nothing, or we quit because we believe the lie that this is the best we can get, and we’d rather have nothing. There is some truth to the idea it doesn’t get better. The truth is, this is the best you can get if you don’t change, and change comes with healing. This is why you may feel stuck in certain areas of your life. You’ve fixed everything you believe needs fixing, but you haven’t healed. We can see this very thing play out currently with Cardi B who within the past year has separated from her husband Offset, had a baby, met a new man Stefon, and is currently pregnant again. In her new album she reflects on the events of the past year, and likely before. She’s gotten a new man, new clothes, and upgraded her body, but she hasn’t described any updates on her heart. Same Cardi, different man, same problems; and the same is true for us all. When we invest heavily in the superficial things that we believe will get us what we want (and we will undoubtedly start with the superficial things) yet we fail to do the real heart work, we’re deceiving ourselves. Why heal? Because it’s necessary to achieve our goals so we can live the life we truly want to live.