Who Are You?

Kerrie Jones • November 12, 2024

When faced with the question of “Who are you?”, many people really don’t know the answer. It’s a sad reality that we know so little about the person whom we walk around with all day every day, yet if I were to ask you about the other people in your world, you’d be able to answer the question with great accuracy.

I know, you probably don’t think you fall into this category because as you’ve begun thinking about who you are, you’ve come up with quite a few adjectives to describe yourself. I’d like to challenge you, however, to remove all descriptors that associate you with someone else, like mother, sister, friend, and even giver. The question is more about who you are at your core, independent of others. If there was no one else around, who would you be? What would exist in your world? What would motivate you? What would please you?


Many of us are so “other” focused that we haven’t taken the time to get to know ourselves, the most important person in our world; and if we don’t know ourselves, what exactly are we doing with the brief life we’re given? How can we be confident that we’re making the most of everyday? We can’t.


If you’re struggling to describe yourself, you don’t truly know yourself; and if you don’t know yourself, you can’t live for yourself. If this is you, I invite you to turn off autopilot and to take the time survey your life with clear focus of yourself in it, so you can live! You may be wondering how to do that, and there are many ways to go about it; I’ll give you a few to get you going.


1.    Notice yourself. Take time every day, if possible, during your optimal time of day (i.e., mornings for a morning person) to simply breathe deeply and notice your breath. If you’ve never done this, it can bring up emotions for you. If you can tolerate it, allow the emotions to come as you continue to notice your breath. If this is unbearable, be compassionate with yourself and don’t push. Grab a drink of water and bring your attention to the space outside of yourself to get back to safety.

2.    Journal. Journaling is a great way to discover your thoughts and feelings. Again, your optimal time of day is the best time to journal, and you can journal about anything. The best way to approach journaling is to write like no one else will read it. After finishing, read back what you’ve written. If necessary, destroy and discard your journal entries to protect your heart from others.

3.    Discover your core values. Core values are deeply connected to our beliefs, and when we operate from them our actions are more intentional and aligned with who we are or who we want to be. We all have core values, even if we don’t recognize it. When we acknowledge our core values, we use them as our guiding light as we move through the world. When we fail to act with our core values in mind, often we experience shame, regret, and resentment. If you need help with discovering your core values, simply search “core values” on the internet and you’ll find sites that provide lists of examples. Once you discover your core values, I invite you to analyze them to determine if they truly resonate with you, or if they’re what you “should” choose based on your environment or upbringing. If it’s the latter, scrap them and try again.

4.    Look in the mirror. Spend time looking at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? What do you like? Why? What don’t you like? Why? What would it be like to accept and embrace it all without attempting to change it? (Side note: these are great prompts for journaling.) When looking in the mirror, it’s important to note that what we see on ourselves is often reflective of what we see in ourselves. Many people want to change the outside, when really, it’s the inside we want to change. We all have the power to change, and acceptance is the first step. Remember, nothing in this world exists without positives and negatives, not even atoms. Our negative attributes provide balance; sometimes accepting them is all that’s needed.

5.    Therapy. Therapy is a great place to learn about yourself; after all, it is all about you. In therapy you talk quite a bit, and then listen with the goal of gaining more insight into the way you exist in the world. Without help, many of us will sleepwalk through life and face many regrets. We are thinking, speaking, and behaving, and we don’t always know the why that’s at the root of it all. It is not a place to be told what to do, but rather to learn who you are so you can achieve your goals. Keep in mind, not all therapists are created equal. One attribute of a great therapist is their ability to take your words and to use them as a mirror for you to see your emotional and psychological self more clearly. If you find a therapist who can do this, you’re likely on your way to better knowing yourself. If you believe you can’t afford therapy, many states have agencies that offer low-cost options. In California, there’s Southern California Counseling Center, they offer low-cost therapy with pre-licensed counselors.

The One Thing Standing Between You & Success

By Kerrie Hudson • February 8, 2026
The new year typically comes with a desire to be successful in an area where winning has been challenging. As such, we spend time thinking about what we want for the year ahead and commit to doing things that will help us achieve our goals. The challenge many of us run into is that we quit on our goals before we can clear the first few months of the year; so, while January is still with us, I want to share with you some information about what I believe to be the number killer of success, anxiety, and how to overcome it so you can have a greater chance at winning this year. Regardless of your goals, anxiety has a way of stepping in and stealing your motivation before you can gain much momentum. It’s the quiet voice lurking in the background telling you that you can’t have what you really want because it’s too hard, or you’re not good enough, or if you do attain it, something terrible will come along and take it away. Essentially, anxiety is at the heart of why you settle; you’ve listened to that little fearful voice that’s informed only by your limited experience and/or imagination, and convinced yourself you can’t have the thing you deeply desire; so your only option is to go without the tightened body, or the love you deserve, or the business that would positively impact the lives of others, which ultimately leaves you dissatisfied and even regretful. You’ve given up on your goals and dreams because of something that might happen, but probably won’t. If you’re going to disrupt this cycle the key is to challenge your ego. Many people believe the issue with the ego is cockiness and arrogance that leads one to see themselves as above others, and while that’s true, what most people fail to understand is the arrogance in perceiving fear as fact versus seeing it as just one of many possibilities. When you see your fears as fact you treat them as certainty and you make decisions that align with them, ultimately shortchanging yourself of the life you deserve. In reality, the ego can work for or against you, and combined with anxiety, an unhealthy ego will kill your ability to enjoy your life and achieve your goals. So, if you you’re going to succeed in anything and have a good time doing it, you must check your ego and anxiety so they don’t keep you in a constant state of settling in fear. If left unchecked, the ego will convince you not to invest too much or not to try too hard because “this probably won’t even work”, or “nothing good ever happens for me”. It will see losses as catastrophic events and overinflate the importance of a few outside opinions. Its goal is to keep you safe, when in reality, the things that pose a threat to you are likely not threatening at all. The key is balancing the ego by removing certainty from your beliefs, because anything that hasn’t yet happened isn’t certain, it’s a possibility. When you begin to see your fears as possibilities you can move from a place of guardedness to a place of curiosity; this helps you to open yourself to more possibilities than the one rooted in your fears, and when you see more possibilities, you can free yourself to take risks (which is necessary to succeed). With this shift, you can begin to see losses as lessons so you can use your setbacks as a setup to do better, to refine your approach, to put the proper supports in place; and as your gain more experience, you’ll begin to see realistic likelihoods of what can happen over possibilities and certainties, reducing the size of your fears. You begin to think “if I take these steps, it is possible that I won’t achieve my goal, but it is likely that I’ll be closer to it than if I settle here”, and when you take on this perspective beautiful things happen.

What's The Deal With Boundaries

By Kerrie Hudson • December 21, 2025
Most of us are trying to improve our lives, and as such, we can cling to ideas and concepts that we believe will help us to get there. A lot of times these ideas and concepts lose their true meaning and become a crutch that we lean on to resist change, instead of a skill we develop to become a better us. Boundaries is one of those concepts that’s often used, rarely understood, and often weaponized in ways that keeps us stuck in the same old patterns; that changes for you today. Simply put, boundaries are our deeply held, internal ‘no’, and when our boundaries have been violated, you feel it. Think about the feeling you get in your body when you’ve waited for a parking space, and someone steals it, or when you’ve loaned someone money that they fail to repay; these are boundary violations. Boundaries are the line we’re not willing to cross in our interactions with others, and that line is your responsibility to maintain. For example, you may have a boundary that dictates you don’t loan money; but, if someone asks you to borrow money and you give them the loan, you have violated your own boundary, and that feeling is far worse than violations from the outside. When you don’t know and/or do not articulate your boundaries you are hurting yourself, and that type of behavior sets you on a course for a world of pain. When you fail to take responsibility for your boundaries it becomes difficult to trust and depend on yourself; and if you can’t trust and depend on you, who can you really trust? Bottom line, boundaries are ingrained into the fabric of our person, they don’t go away; and boundary-setting and protection are necessary skills to develop in order to become a confident and self-assured human who is fulfilled in life. If you struggle with identifying and honoring your boundaries, Becoming Her Again is the gamechanger you need to step into the woman who no longer shrinks or settles for less than she deserves. The course is coming soon, join the waitlist to be the first to access this powerful resource. (P.S., it comes with 2 bonuses: The Boundary Starter Pack & Scripts for Difficult Conversations)
Dirt path winding through green, grassy mountains under a partly cloudy sky.

Why Heal?

By Kerrie Hudson • October 8, 2025
Why Heal? Healing has become a buzzword in the company of words like self-care, peace, and mental health. They’re certainly a bit overused, but are nonetheless vital components of the life we all want to live. So, what is healing? Healing is wholeness. What makes us “unwhole”? Trauma. Many of us don’t believe that we’ve experienced trauma, and that’s understandable because this type of trauma is so common it doesn’t seem very traumatic. But here we’re talking about what we call “little t” trauma. Some examples are the separation or divorce of parents, emotional neglect (no one to talk to/childhood loneliness), or a parent suffering with mental health challenges (anxiety and depression are most common). When children have experiences like these, they often have parents or caregivers who are unavailable or incapable of providing for their needs, and instead of the parent taking responsibility, the kid blames themselves – that’s the trauma. When you are at fault of anything, you naturally correct or fix yourself; so, when you blame yourself for something you weren’t responsible for you overcorrect and rid yourself of attributes and qualities you actually need. There’s no way of knowing this process is taking place in childhood, the damage is done. The good news, however, is it’s reversible, and reversing the damage is called healing. There’s also no way to instinctively know what we need to heal until we begin living; life tells us where we need to heal. The easiest way to identify areas where healing is needed is when we want something, especially basic life necessities like love, and we can’t seem to achieve it, we do the same thing we did as kids, we fix ourselves. And when the fixing doesn’t work, we either settle, or we give up. We settle, because we believe the lie that this is the best we can get, and we’d rather have this than nothing, or we quit because we believe the lie that this is the best we can get, and we’d rather have nothing. There is some truth to the idea it doesn’t get better. The truth is, this is the best you can get if you don’t change, and change comes with healing. This is why you may feel stuck in certain areas of your life. You’ve fixed everything you believe needs fixing, but you haven’t healed. We can see this very thing play out currently with Cardi B who within the past year has separated from her husband Offset, had a baby, met a new man Stefon, and is currently pregnant again. In her new album she reflects on the events of the past year, and likely before. She’s gotten a new man, new clothes, and upgraded her body, but she hasn’t described any updates on her heart. Same Cardi, different man, same problems; and the same is true for us all. When we invest heavily in the superficial things that we believe will get us what we want (and we will undoubtedly start with the superficial things) yet we fail to do the real heart work, we’re deceiving ourselves. Why heal? Because it’s necessary to achieve our goals so we can live the life we truly want to live.